10 Common Lies Compulsive Gamblers Tell

• Have I Got A Gambling Problem Solving
• Have I Got A Gambling Problem Involving
• Have I Got A Gambling Problem Without
• Have I Got A Gambling Problem Even
• I Got A Gambling Problem

1. Outside of trying to help players we have no influence over the game whatsoever. I’m just curious if people think dealers are out to get them (we make no money if you lose). The only time I have ever got mad while gambling ( even before I became a dealer); was at myself for losing outside my means.
2. Unfortunately yes you can. A “gambling problem” is unrelated to winning or losing but is related to, in effect, “having to gamble”. So that the individual becomes addicted to the sensations that gambling promotes and feels something akin to withdrawal pangs when deprived of their gambling “fix”.

If you’re living with a compulsive gambler, you’re already familiar with the never-ending cycle of lies, half-truths, and deliberate distortion of facts. But if you haven’t yet confirmed (but do suspect) that your spouse or partner has a gambling addiction, look carefully at his or her behavior patterns for signs that gambling has become more than just a casual occurrence. Compulsive lying is one of the symptoms of compulsive or pathological gamblers. These gamblers are addicted to gambling, and lying becomes second nature to them. What are some of the common lies compulsive gamblers tell? Read on.

Some people have quipped that the only hassle gamblers have is dropping. Would that it become that easy. Fixing problem gambling involves lots greater than simply finding a triumphing system or having a fortunate streak, because a gambling problem is a deep seated state of affairs that involves a lot extra than simply losing a.

#1: I don’t have a gambling problem.

Anyone who flat-out denies they have a gambling problem, despite evidence to the contrary, is either well on their way to full-blown gambling addiction or is already there. By the time someone is deep into gambling, their behavior becomes consistent and predictable. They will do anything and say anything to get to their primary goal: gambling. That they stretch the truth or tell outright lies is an understatement. Gambling addicts, even after disastrous losses, bankruptcy and financial ruin, legal problems, deteriorating family and personal relationships, will often steadfastly maintain that they don’t have a gambling problem.

Denial is a coping mechanism the compulsive gambler uses to attempt to mask his or her problem. By hoping to keep the truth from coming out, the gambler tries to buy time – time he or she uses to keep on gambling. Thus, there’s self-denial and denial to others. Both types of denial are symptoms of many kinds of addiction, not just gambling addiction. The more a person swears they don’t have a problem – gambling or alcohol or drugs or other addictive behavior – the more likely it is that they do.

Lie #2: I can stop anytime I want.

Confronting a compulsive gambler – calling him or her on the indisputable facts that indicate gambling has become an addictive behavior – will usually generate this kind of lie in response. The gambler cannot admit to you or him/her self that there’s a problem, number one, and, number two, if that doesn’t work, he or she will profess vehemently that stopping is no problem. To prove it, the compulsive gambler may even stay away from the casino, sports book, Internet gaming, or track for a short period of time.

But the lure of cashing in on the big score, snagging the elusive prize is too great. Before long, the compulsive gambler is right back at it. He or she simply cannot resist the temptation. The urge to gamble has become a craving that gnaws incessantly on the consciousness. To ignore the craving is to suffer – and the compulsive gambler only wants the high that comes from gambling.

Lie #3: My gambling doesn’t hurt anyone.

Most addicts believe – some, even sincerely – that their addiction doesn’t hurt anyone. Some even believe their addiction doesn’t even hurt them. It’s just as true with compulsive gambling as addiction to alcohol, illicit drugs, prescription drugs used nonmedically, or other addictive behavior including compulsive sex, overwork, eating disorders, and so on. In fact, gambling addiction, like all addictions, is considered a family disease/disorder. What happens when one individual in the family is addicted impacts all members of the family.

What kinds of harm does this potentially involve? Depending on the length of time the individual has been gambling, and the other addictions the person may also have, the damage may be extensive. Compulsive gamblers often are addicted to alcohol, nicotine, or other harmful substances. This can result in physical deterioration to the addict as well as mental and emotional difficulties: cognitive impairment, difficulty concentrating, loss of memory, explosive rage, extreme mood swings, depression, psychosis, and thoughts of suicide, among others.

Dealing with the effects of gambling addiction, the family suffers right along with the gambler. As gambling takes up more and more of the individual’s life, taking care of family responsibilities becomes less important. Many gamblers lose their home, go bankrupt, get arrested for various crimes (embezzlement, fraud, theft, violence, DUIs, etc.), lose their job or source of income, become violent and abusive to family members, lose their families. As a unit, the family often disintegrates. In fact, without treatment, compulsive gambling is a downward spiral that has, at its final stage, a predictable outcome for the individual: prison, commitment to a mental institution, or death.

Lie #4: I didn’t go gambling.

Meeting the gambler at the door and asking where he or she was is like asking for the inevitable lie: I didn’t go gambling. What else can the compulsive gambler say? Admitting that he or she went gambling is tantamount to admitting loss of control, an inability to set and keep boundaries, and a refusal to keep a promise. If there’s the smell of alcohol and the individual reeks of cigarette smoke or there are other telltale signs of substance use – and you know the person has a history of gambling – hearing the denial will only add fuel to the fire.

You know it’s an outright lie. Confrontation isn’t the way to deal with it. At least, it’s not the solution right now. You need to pick your time for the discussion, and it needs to be when the compulsive gambler is rational, calm, and able to carry on a conversation about the situation in a normal manner.

Lie #5: I have my gambling under control.

If you are the partner or spouse who relies on the compulsive gambler to take care of the bills and other financial responsibilities in the household, you may be tempted to believe this lie. He or she has unrestricted access to the checking and savings accounts, credit cards, lines of credit and other avenues. If, on the other hand, you are the one who controls the purse strings, so to speak, and you constantly give in to the requests for money, you are enabling the compulsive gambler to continue with his or her addictive behavior. You are complicit, codependent, and have just magnified the problem by making it easier for the compulsive gambler to continue.

When someone says they have their gambling under control, they are lying not only to you but also to themselves. A person who only buys a Lotto ticket once in a while will never make this statement. Someone who goes to the track daily, or can’t go by the casino without going in and gambling for hours, maxing out the ATM withdrawals, badgering friends for cash, is very likely to utter these words – and probably more than just a few times. After a while, they just aren’t believable anymore. And the evidence will mount to prove just how big a lie it is.

Lie #6: I didn’t touch our savings.

Desperation sets in the longer the compulsive gambler engages in the addictive behavior. Why is this? While the gambler may initially (in the early stages of gambling behavior) have some wins, the odds are literally stacked against him or her. Sooner or later, the house always wins. It doesn’t matter if the form of gambling is at an actual casino, or sports betting, or Internet gaming, the gambler’s luck eventually runs out.

But the gambler is convinced it’s only a temporary setback. If he or she just keeps gambling, the luck will return. There’s always the big score, the huge payout, just around the corner. All that’s needed is the infusion of cash.

Where to get the cash? Gamblers will rob savings accounts, jockey funds back and forth, hide the passbook or bank statements, and delay the inevitable – all in the futile attempt to keep you from the truth. If you hear your partner or spouse say he or she didn’t touch your savings, you’d better check it out with the bank yourself. Chances are this is just another lie the compulsive gambler tells you.

Lie #7: You won’t believe what happened…

The more deep in debt the compulsive gambler gets – and there’s no way around the fact that this will occur – the more elaborate and exaggerated the lies and stories he or she begins to concoct. There’ll be the robbery that occurred as he or she was depositing money in the bank – and now everything’s gone. Or someone stole his or her wallet and now the credit cards are gone. There may have been an unbelievable investment opportunity and it had a limited window, so he or she had to jump in now or lose the chance… All this and more will come out of the compulsive gambler’s mouth as a way to explain what happened to your money.

If you hear the words: You won’t believe what happened… don’t believe it. No matter how convincing it sounds, it’s likely a lie.

Lie #8: My friend was in trouble and needed money.

Have I Got A Gambling Problem Solving

This lie is an evergreen one that almost every compulsive gambler uses on more than one occasion. In fact, it’s so common that it’s nearly predictable that you will hear it sooner or later. Certainly there are times when your spouse or partner’s friends may be in trouble. Who doesn’t have such an experience? But when your partner is a compulsive gambler, you have reason to be suspicious. Naturally, you want to give someone you care about the benefit of the doubt, but after falling for this lie time and time again, you’re again only enabling the addictive behavior to continue.

The story about a friend being in trouble and needing money fast also falls into the lie category of you won’t believe what happened. Elaborate, exaggerated, and preposterous stories – all lies – are part and parcel of the compulsive gambler’s repertoire.

Lie #9: You can trust me now.

Trust is a fragile thing. Once you lose trust in another individual, it’s very hard to ever trust that person again. The closer you are to the person, especially if you are married or live with him or her, the more difficult it is to re-establish trust once it’s lost.

Compulsive gamblers need to be able to continue their addictive behavior. In order to do that, they either have to have a complicit or codependent partner, or they have to convince whomever they need to in order to continue to gain access to cash. Friends will eventually see through the lies and refuse to lend any more money to the gambler. After all, this money is rarely, if ever, repaid. They know it’s going for gambling, despite the lies the gambler tells. They gradually avoid the gambler, refusing to take his or her calls, quickly finding an excuse to leave if approached. There’s no trust there now.

But when you live with the compulsive gambler, have a relationship that’s lasted for some period of time, even have children with the gambler – you have a vested interest in maintaining the relationship. You obviously care for (or have cared for) the person. Your heart breaks over what’s been happening as your loved one slides deeper into gambling addiction. Time and time again, you’ve given in and accepted the lies. You’ve told yourself that it’s only a phase, or it’s not that bad, or he or she will outgrow it. Who’s lying to whom now?

Trust is earned through action. Trust is not gained through words. If your partner or spouse says you can trust him or her now, say that it will take time and action – getting treatment, quitting gambling – for you to again be able to place your trust in him/her.

Lie #10: I’ll never gamble again.

The compulsive gambler will tell you what you want to hear – even though it’s a lie. Usually, when you hear the person swear that he or she will never gamble again, it’s after a particularly disastrous loss, arrest, legal entanglement, loss of a job, or other serious consequence.

Instead of letting the lie go unchallenged, you will need to take a stand. Will you continue to put up with this addiction? What are your options? Only you can decide how you will handle your spouse or partner’s gambling addiction. While you certainly can’t force someone else – even one you love dearly – to quit gambling, you can decide how you are going to live your own life. You need to tell this individual how his or her gambling has hurt you and the family, how much you care about the person and want him/her to get help to overcome this situation. You can choose not to involve yourself in his/her behavior. No more lying to friends, family, employer or others about your partner’s gambling. No more excuses. No more looking the other way when the signs and consequences of mounting gambling debt are all around you.

If and when your spouse or partner is ready to admit to the problem and genuinely wants to get treatment to overcome gambling addiction, then you may begin to see a glimmer of hope on the horizon. The words alone shouldn’t convince you. In order for them to have meaning, they need to be backed up by action. Your spouse/partner needs to go into treatment.

You can help by looking into available treatment facilities, either residential treatment facility for gambling addiction or outpatient treatment facilities. Remember that the gambling addict has to want to change in order for change to have a chance. He or she will need professional help in order to overcome his/her addiction. With treatment, not only will the addict learn about the disease of addiction, but he or she will also learn how to avoid triggers and learn and practice coping behaviors to prevent relapse. Part of the gambling addiction treatment process will be to identify the underlying reasons why compulsive gambling is so attractive and to work on overcoming those urges.

If the gambler is adamant about not getting treatment but still maintains he or she will never gamble again, there’s nothing you can do about it – for him or her. But there is something you can do for you. Attend Gam-Anon meetings. These are 12-step fellowship groups whose purpose is to help those family members and friends of gambling addicts cope with the situation. You cannot change the gambler, but you can change how you interact with the gambler and change your behaviors so that you are not enabling the gambling to continue.

Bottom line: When you’ve had enough of the lies, you must make a choice. If you set limits, be sure that you’re willing to enforce them. Don’t make a statement that you’re not able to back up. If you say that you will leave the compulsive gambler if he/she doesn’t get help, you’d better be ready to go through with it. Again, what you do is very much your choice. But you don’t have to try to wade through the emotional minefield on your own. Get help and support from others in your situation.

Will the lies ever stop? The good news is that gambling addiction is treatable. If your spouse or partner seeks and completes treatment and attends 12-step meetings (such as Gamblers Anonymous) in recovery, with your support and encouragement (and your own Gam-Anon meeting attendance), there’s a very good possibility that compulsive lies – and compulsive gambling – will become a thing of the past.

Medically reviewed:06/22/2018
Last updated: 04/17/2020
Author: Addictions.com Medical Review

Reading Time: 7minutes

What is Gambling Addiction?

Gambling addiction or gambling disorder is defined as persistent and recurring problematic gambling behavior that causes distress and impairs your overall livelihood. Gambling addiction affects roughly 0.2% to 0.3% of the general U.S. population, and tends to affects males more than females, though this gender gap has narrowed in recent years. Gambling disorder is a behavioral addiction that can be effectively treated using a range of cognitive and behavioral therapies.

The desire to buy scratch tickets, play slot machines, and visit casinos aren’t necessarily signs of gambling addiction. But when the desire to gamble becomes overwhelming to the point you can’t stop thinking about it until you gamble on something, may be a sign you need help. Those who suffer from gambling addiction will continue to gamble despite negative financial, legal, and social consequences.

Gambling disorder is a brain disease that can cause you to do things you wouldn’t normally do if you weren’t suffering from addiction. Behavioral addictions like gambling disorder are often difficult to manage and control without getting professional help. Addiction treatment centers can help you overcome gambling addiction and teach you important skills aimed at helping you repair problems in your life caused by your disorder.

What are the Signs and Symptoms of Gambling Addiction?

There are no physical health symptoms associated with gambling disorder. Familiarizing yourself with common gambling addiction behaviors can clue you into whether you or a loved one may need professional help.

Chasing after losses is the most common tell-tale sign of gambling disorder. This particular symptom is marked by the urgent need to continue gambling to earn back a loss or series of losses. Individuals diagnosed with gambling disorder may abandon their usual gambling strategies to win back all losses at once and may lie to family, friends, and therapists to hide the severity of their addiction.

The following behaviors are potential signs of gambling addiction:

• Needing to gamble using increasing amounts of money to achieve the desired rush and excitement.
• Feeling restless or irritable when trying to reduce or stop gambling.
• Inability to control, reduce, or quit gambling despite numerous repeated attempts.
• Preoccupation with gambling, such as devising ways to get more gambling money and reliving past gambling experiences.
• Gambling when experiencing feelings of distress, helplessness, guilt, anxiety, and depression.
• Chasing after your losses to get even after losing money gambling.
• Lying to conceal the severity of gambling behaviors, and the addiction.
• Loss of personal relationships, job, and educational pursuits due to gambling.
• Replying on others to provide money to resolve financial situations caused by gambling, such as a threat of eviction from the home.

Those with a mild gambling addiction may exhibit between four and five of these behaviors, while those with a moderately severe gambling addiction may exhibit six to seven of these behaviors. People who suffer from severe gambling addiction will usually exhibit all nine behaviors. Moderate to severe cases of gambling disorder tend to be more common than mild cases.

You might have a gambling problem if:

Have I Got A Gambling Problem Involving

• You feel compelled to keep gambling until you’ve spent your last dollar. You may keep bidding until you’ve spent everything to win your money back, or you continue increasing bet amounts.
• You hide your gambling from friends or family members. You may sneak off to gamble without telling anyone, or lie about your gambling activities.
• You spend money you don’t have on gambling. You may use money intended for important bills like rent, mortgage, car payments, credit card bills, and other expenses for gambling.
• You steal from others or sell your possessions so you can gamble. You may steal money or belongings from others so you can gamble, or sell or pawn valuable possessions like musical instruments and vehicles to obtain more gambling money.
• You prioritize gambling over obligations related to work, school, family. You may stop going to work or school so you can gamble, or stop buying household necessities so you can use the money for gambling instead.
• You’re experiencing financial hardships due to gambling. You may have lost your home, car, job, and important personal possessions due to gambling.
• You’re facing a range of negative emotions triggered by gambling. Gambling may be a serious problem in your life if it’s triggering depression, anxiety, frustration, agitation, and remorse.
• You want to stop gambling but can’t. You have tried to stop gambling but can’t seem to stop despite your desire to do better and to stop gambling.

Negative Effects of Gambling Addiction

Gambling addiction can produce many more negative effects than just financial hardship. Gambling disorder can affect your physical health, mental health, and social functioning, and lead to the loss of important relationships with friends and loved ones. You may also suffer a decline in work or school performance, and feel more restless and bored with all other areas of life that don’t involve gambling.

Those who suffer from gambling addiction tend to suffer from higher rates of poor general health than those who don’t gamble. Tachycardia and angina are common health problems among those diagnosed with gambling addiction. Many who suffer from gambling disorder also tend to experience distortions in thinking surrounding their addiction, such as superstitions, overconfidence, and a sense of power over the outcome of chance events. Nearly 50% of those receiving treatment for gambling disorder experience suicidal ideation, while an estimated 17% have tried to commit suicide.

The negative effects of problem gambling include:

• Financial problems including high debt, poverty, or bankruptcy
• Domestic violence and child abuse in families
• Suicidal thoughts, attempts, or the act of suicide
• Legal troubles, including arrests for theft or prostitution
• Behavior problems in children of problem gamblers
• Depression, anxiety, and other mental health disorders
• Loss of relationships with friends and family
• A decline in performance at work or school
• Suicide and death
• A risk for drug or alcohol abuse

How Does Gambling Addiction Interact with Addiction?

Alcohol and cocaine are the two most common substances associated with gambling and binge gambling, respectively. Alcohol is legally available in most gambling settings such as bars and casinos and is often rewarded to gamblers for free at many of these establishments. Roughly 44% of people with gambling disorder in the U.S. also suffer from an alcohol use disorder.

Binge gambling is defined as intermittent episodes of uncontrolled gambling after long periods of abstinence. For instance, a person who practices binge gambling may only visit the casino five times per year but gamble non-stop for long periods during their stay. Cocaine use tends to be common among these gamblers since it produces stimulating effects of increased energy, alertness, focus, concentration, and confidence.

Individuals with gambling disorders tend to suffer higher rates of co-occurring alcohol and drug use disorders compared to their peers. Gambling often takes place in environments that enable and encourage alcohol and drug use. Gambling can also trigger mental health conditions like anxiety and depression, which many may self-treat using alcohol and drugs like marijuana, painkillers, and other addictive substances.

How Are Gambling Addiction and Substance Use Treated?

Gambling addiction is commonly treated using cognitive and behavioral therapies that treat the root psychological causes of your addiction. These therapies also help you identify and change negative, unhealthy thoughts and behaviors that may have led to your gambling addiction. Treatments for gambling addiction can be tailored especially for you or your loved one based on the factors surrounding your disorder.

Gambling addiction can also be treated using community reinforcement, group therapy, and 12-step support groups like Gamblers Anonymous. These treatments help you identify your triggers that can lead to gambling and teach you ways to overcome and manage those triggers. For instance, if a stressful day at work usually makes you feel like gambling, you may learn yoga, deep breathing, or other healthy methods that relieve stress without putting your health and well-being at risk.

Gambling Addiction Help

If you or someone you love needs treatment for gambling addiction, it’s important that you use a treatment approach that best suits your recovery needs. Gambling addiction treatment is available in many different settings, including inpatient and outpatient treatment settings.

Have I Got A Gambling Problem Without

Inpatient gambling addiction treatment can greatly benefit those who suffer from severe gambling disorder, and who have suffered severe financial, legal, or social problems. Inpatient treatment includes around-the-clock supervision in a hospital-like setting where you can live for the duration of your treatment program. The intense level of therapy, counseling, and supervision provided by inpatient treatment centers can help significantly reduce the risk of relapse while in recovery.

Compulsive gamblers often need support from friends, family members, and peers to help them stop gambling. Gamblers Anonymous groups can provide peer and social support for those in recovery or for those who wish they can stop gambling. These groups can provide a solid, healthy foundation for a successful and long-term recovery from gambling addiction.

Have I Got A Gambling Problem Even

Here’s how to help a family member or loved one suffering from a gambling addiction:

I Got A Gambling Problem

• Understand the addiction. The first thing you can do to help a loved one who is addicted to gambling is to learn all you can about the addiction. Find a support group that can help you cope with the stress that comes from having a loved one who is addicted to gambling.
• Find support. Support for yourself and for your loved one who is addicted can be very beneficial in helping with a gambling addiction. Many support groups are available throughout communities and in treatment centers. Therapists and counselors can also provide support for gambling addiction.
• Manage money tightly. If your loved one is addicted to gambling and is actively pursuing help, take over managing all financial responsibilities for your loved one. This can help reduce any gambling impulses your loved one may be experiencing throughout their recovery.